Coup D'etat

The prattlers have gone into a stupor, courtesy, an energy-sapping, gas-draining event known as examinations.

However, we've had some real imitation jewels from the inimitable 'Bhaaaya'.
Note:
The timestamps have not been recorded as time is considered to be relatively inaccurate and we, the prattlers, pride on being definitive - Refer the 'Guide' for details.

Back to Bhaaaya quotes:

- "Summary is the juice of the chapter"
- "We are running through the ppts at 'Blitzkrieg' pace" (The Fuhrer spun in his grave hearing this).


Having said that, we now have an important announcement to make. A significant event that might just change the course of mankind.
After having followed all procedures in our dictatorial democracy, having over 64% vote share (a clear majority and courtesy all the voters - read as Tools ->Clear Cache->Refresh->Vote), Prrrrrrresssssssetting the new Jargon Queen -
Indiraaaaaaa (WWF announcement style)...

However, unlike JQS, the title 'JQVISD' may not be very user-friendly and hence the title JQS remains. (Imagine the frustration levels of the poor bloke who gets JQVISD as his scrabble tiles. :P. If you are not able to imagine that, Click Here).


Flash News:
Last heard, a certain Supriya, the erstwhile Jargon Queen was dishing out Jargons left, right and center at ColPal after she heard rumours of being dethroned. Latest news was that all employees of ColPal who bore the brunt of her jargons tried to commit suicide by drowning in ColPal toothpaste.
Unfortunately for them, the toothpaste turned out to be so bad (err..that's stating the obvious) that they were unsuccessful in doing so and are now buying ColPal soaps to get rid of the sticky gooey-like toothpaste. There were confirmed reports of a substantial increase in the sale of ColPal soaps and the reason behind this sudden surge was unknown.
The Dainik Jargon team happened to find out that, incidentally, Supriya, an intern at ColPal , was assigned the task of increasing the Sales of ColPal soaps. The prattlers don't believe in coincidences).

In other news, particularly, in the trivia section, incumbent Jargon King Sandeep still rules the roost with an unassailable lead over the rest of the pack. Emergency Pradeep tried very hard, with his quotes during the exams, but ended up with only 5 votes (he has to thank me for that).

So..that's that. Until the next post.
Executive Summary: We've got JKS and the new Jargon Queen. Hallelujah.

Flash News

...after it was called "Pricehousing Water Cooper" by the 'team-lead'.

Jargon (n) - The Concise Oxford Defintion

There has been a lull in blogging (3 whole days!!!).
Attribute this either to
a. The Prattlers running out of content (which is as probable as hair growing on my head or Sandeep eating rice. Note: The former being more probable)
b. Heavy workload (academics) taking a toll on the Dainik Jargon team. (Which is as probable as the probability mentioned in point a)
OR
c. The state of astonishment/shock of finding Pradeep(YS) getting out from his CFA books and blogging!!! (Whoa!!! Pradeep & Blogging - Now this seems to be quite a good reason for the relative inactivity on this blog).

I had to upload this post despite staunch protests from Sandeep (who called this definition sub-standard). I may be ostracized by JKS for this but I had to acknowledge the efforts taken by Akshita and Roopam who, painstakingly, searched for the definition of Jargon in the library.
Now, any person with a teeny weeny bit of common sense would ask, "Why did they have to hunt in the library? Couldn't they Google it out?". The answer isn't, cliched it may sound, rocket science. They visited the library to hunt for an "English Communication books" amidst the Finance and Marketing volumes BECAUSE Akshita had a 'Dell' laptop and internet simply doesn't work on a 'Dell' laptop. (P.S. Roopam had not brought his HP to college).

Now for the definition of Jargon according to this Englisss communication text book:
"Jargon means unintelligible or meaningless talk or writing familiar only to a group or profession. It is full of special words known only to members of the group. When it is used outside the group, it becomes unintelligible." (E.g. for the highlighted statement: The 'traumatised' expression on the face of one of our fellow batchmates (an unfortunate soul who hasn't come into contact with the prattlers), when Harsha said "Arre bhai, did the driver had a 'traumatised' expression on his face?")

The book also goes on to state some of the causes for generation and outburst(s) of jargon (and gems):
a. Information Overload (E.g. "Ma'am..ma'am...Deliverables)
b. Time Pressure (of CFA) (E.g. "Embellishment is half the fun")
c. Communication Climate (E.g. Gtalk status messages like "Smitten by the Refreshingly Spontaneous..."
d. Noise ("Aspirational value")
e. Mechanical (in this case Vocabulary) failure ("Situational Innuendo")

The authors Ramachandra, Chandrashekara, Shivakumara (No..No..It is not a single South Indian Name - they are 3 authors of the same book) have also added a few 'gems' of their own:
"Communication usually fails - except by chance" and
"If a message can be understood in different ways, it will be understood in just the way it does the most harm"

Now we know why people don't read such books.

my first post...

Thanks to bhargav for allowing me to express myself....This is my first post in this blog…for the first time in 8 months I am doing something tat doesn’t relate to cfa or my mba curriculum (which I am forced to…. L )…..i was unable to restrain myself from extolling the trio’s (sandeep…bhargav…harsha’s) prowess over language …..The sheer command these guys possess is laudable… which made me to push my corp fin book aside and jot down some of my thoughts… 

I haven’t read this blog before …though it is a brainchild of my beloved harsha & bhargav. I shd confess tat I really missed some creative stuff …gems just splashed all around the blog …believe me it was hard for me to decipher some lines in the blog…tougher than FSA L (sorry got used to quantify everything in terms of fin) … 

The title of the blog itself is a lexicon tester…was a bouncer…by the way bhargav sir…I would be greatful if u could enlighten me ….wat magniloquos means… Taking forward our prospective jargon queen’s (Indira)…suggestion it would be better to make a note of all jargons on a separate webpage instead of interspersing it in the blog…it would be of great help for common junta like me to pick up some gems while preparing for a gd or pi… J 

Pradeep (fondly called YS)

.. its Raison d'être

Disclaimer: Jargons are an integral part of this blog and shall not be considered as being “bundled” with the usual posts of the blog (courtesy: Product bundling discussion in the mkting class today )

A rather unusual beginning, wot ?

Well .. having lived with the jargonisers for over six months now, I too have picked up a few I guess..

It all started when we discovered JKS(JARGON KING SANDEEP) one fine day of second trim spouting his jargons with such ease and poise that we were left dumbstruck .. rather jargon-struck !

There was no looking back after that … we had jargon after jargon .. day in and day out .. not just from JKS but from others as well ..!

Well it catches up pretty fast .. and once u have an eye (ear rather) for jargons, u actually begin to see(hear) them in ur daily life …

There was “ embellishment is half the fun” ( Harsha- the CSI of d grp) , “situational innuendo” (Bhargav – another king, but of the FiM land – future posts shall tell u more about this land), “empty store syndrome” ( all hail the queen SU ), “CFA is a mind game” (YS – the fin champ in the group) and ofcourse the “reinforcement checklist”(by JKS) and his evergreen “creative bankruptcy” . He plans to write a book eventually – “CREATIVE BANKRUPTCY – BANE OF ORGANISATIONS” and was visibly upset when he was almost dethroned by the new entrants.

The point is … our world revolves around jargons. Every day we think of new ways of jargonizing our otherwise simple world. Every time we think a person has out-jargoned the others, we stand corrected .. coz there would be another gem of a jargon (no pun intended) just around the corner.

This is the whole point.. looking at the rate at which jargons are generated every day, we might lose a few if they r not compiled and stored carefully. This is the reason for coming up with this blog.. its Raison d'être .

We are very happy to see the number of jargonisers growing by leaps and bounds and the new challenges it brings forth to the quality of gems/jargons. We will try our level best to keep up with the speed of jargon generation and try to do justice to them all.

Also, I would like to appeal to the honorable bench to consider constituting "Gem of the day" award to encourage the jargonisers by rewarding the best jargon of the day. Let the contest begin !

Medal(s) of Honour

Now that we are onto the 6th of March, we need to announce the title holders of Jargon King and Queen of the Month... Being a dictatorial democracy, we have decided to consider the results of the poll (We feign ignorance to any rigging)...

And as per the (rigged) polls we have


Jargon King - Sandeep (Yet again...and almost swept the polls)
Jargon Queen - Supriya (Though there was stiff competition from Indira)

Three Cheers to the winners....

Pearls Galore - Mar 04

Thanks Bhargav for the prelude to the BREAKING NEWS...without further rambling, we welcome a few more 'hidden talents' to the League.

But madame, u need an agent for transformation right? - YS: 11 am 

GEM: 11:20 am

Harshil (in his inimitable style) : Ma'am but a company should charter your growth trajectory. 

Everyone including ma'am is flabbergasted. Harshil senses the shock he has created all around and gets excited. Looking at the stunned expressions of ma'am, he starts ranting:

Harshil: Ma'am the thing is when u throw a stone in the air, it follows a path. This path is called a trajectory. (uncontrollable laughter at such an innocuous clarification...if u thought this was enuf...read on). 

He gets up, goes to the board and draws a demand-supply like graph (he must hv mistook it to be an Economics class) and starts explaining details of the curve slopes for NMIMS grads career v/s that of others, in his inimitable poker-faced style. 

Sahil, the only one actually listening, raises a doubt that the curve should be exponential, to which an-in-form Harshil retorts:

Harshil: u see a linear growth trajectory is a conservative estimate. 

(Sahil is plain stunned into silence)

Man, Harshil with a marker beside the board!

Guru YS: 2:10 pm (giving gyaan to the keen ears of Harsha, Debu and Roopam) : CFA is nothing but a mind game.

Rajiv: (in the HR role play) 11:40 pm

I wanted to discuss my future positioning in the company (Marketing Gyaan Overdose Syndrome)

Gem: 

Flashing debut, the 'Prince of Kolkata' arrives: 

Adi: We should look at the problem not from the periphery but from the core.  (whoa!)

Impact of all this on ISD: 12:45 pm

ISD: It is raining jargons today. But it is for the jargon king to decide whether it is a gem or a jargon.

Observations:

'Refreshing' to see the blog hit counter rattling along (Assuming, I hope, the prattlers have not inflated the count thru their obsession). This means that a lot of wannabes and curious visitors have chosen to have a dekko. If u feel lost, we are NOT surprised. As a guideline please note the following:

1) The mind boggling blog name is the creative output of Bhargav. So any bouquets, brickbats, votes MUST go to him. 

2) We wud request u to first read our VISION STATEMENT post sumwhr below thoroughly. This will help u appreciate the posts better. You may then proceed to enjoy our Collectors' Edition, a selection of choice gems and unique FIM series, which should refresh your thought process.

3) We take pride in our product quality and are pleased to inform u tht as a differentiator, we are offering a never-before seen performance guarantee plus service commitment.  We assure u that after going thru the blog posts, u will either be more lost than before or feel enlightened, but the time spent here will not cause boredom. Please let us know in case u are dissatified with the quality (no questions asked), we will strive to make the content richer. 

An added attraction is our service commitment, wherein we assure u of medical assistance in the rare event of a migraine cropping up due to exposure to our blog. Our prattlers will be pleased to investigate the extent of damage and serve u within 4 hours.

(Special thanks to Xerox Corp, for voluntarily carrying out this market research for us. This has greatly helped us chart out this unbelievable hybrid guarantee differentiator).

Enjoy!

The 4th March Concoction

Today i.e. 4th of March is henceforth going to be celebrated as "Jargon Day"... The plethora of jargon emanating from some of the most unsuspecting souls gave rise to the "Jargon Day" concept..

"When gems and jargon are quoted, the originator does not realize..." - Budday Gal Indira, 4th March, 7.50pm

"CFA is a mind game" - YS, No particular timestamp, Repetitions of the same could be heard at various intervals of time depending on the mental state of the 'originator'

FiM of the Day:

Scene: People are playing picto-dumb C. Su was drawing the product and Indira was acting... Tanya and Ankita were guessing and Ojas was fiddling around with a laptop...
The product was Femina and the the gals were having a tough time trying to guess the tagline.

At that precise moment, Bhargav just looks up and spontaneously says "Femina: Woman of a substance". Silence for 2 seconds before he realizes (and others realize) his mistake. No self-respecting guy would ever, i mean ever, remember such a lousy tagline.
Ergo, he is now called "Mr Femina"!!!!

And now to the jargon of the day... the jargon that almost dethroned the incumbent Jargon King Sandeep... and that came from the most unexpected source...
"Charter of growth trajectory" - The Funniest Guy of our Class, 11.45am, 04-03,2009
And what followed was even more surprising (refreshingly)... The explanation of the word trajectory to the HRM ma'am.

Request Sandeep to upload the rest of the jargon he took down in his notebook during the class...

Pearls Galore

It is 'refreshing' to see some gems interspersed between the FiM series (partly because it will give the author breathing space from the barrage of attacks against him)... Today along with the usual gems, I present to you visual proof of jargon usage (award winning one as well)...
But first the regular 'pearls' spotted during the conversation:

"10 months is not more than 12 months" - Indira, 1.10pm, 01-03-2009

"A master can praise the disciple, but the master is a master" - Harsha, 8.51pm, 02-03-2009

"You may be friendly, but you need not be friends", - The Great, 1.24pm, 02-03-2009

And now for the much awaited moment, the visual proof that incriminates the incumbent Jargon King or should I say 'Monarch'?


- Sandeep, 2.16pm, 31-1-2009

FIM Series 2...

Ah my first post here and obviously i talk about my favourite topic.. Bhargav and his FIMs...

Su is talkin about her latest crush.. a handsome bloke with an even awesome bike... a dual reason for the crush.. till her share of the pie is eyed by bhargav who asks " Can he be my crush too ?"...

still i think this species is evolving.. slowly and gradually... see whenever you asked bhargav about a handsome male of the human species.. this is how Bhargav's responses evolved..

Stage 1 : Oh ya he is cute

Stage 2: Oh the other bloke is better

Stage 3: After Much leg pulling Sanity dawns... i willnot answer this

Stage 4:  finally i cannot answer this...

Stage 5: Opens closes mouth like a fish.. and tries hard to keep quiet... no comments..

FIM Series 1

FIM 01:

Scene: NESCAFE Area

The 'Dainik Jargon' group is walking down to their regular cuppa jaunt. Bhargav, Harsha and me grab their regular choco/coffee water only to find Su and ISD staring at a freshly setup outlet 

(u cud smell the paint but not their supposed snacks). An inspired Su takes charge:

Su: Chal Indira I'm having a Jalmudi, what abt u?

ISD: ok...I'll also have the same

Yours truly (astonished and chuckling): Nice...u both are the first customers at this outlet in the last 4 days since its been setup.

A round of sarcastic laughter follows. What also followed was a lady hiding her face and stealthily escaping from right behind us. She happened to be the co-owner of the outlet.

Impact:

The outlet was not to be seen for the next 3 days. It has now been shifted to another closeby location. 

I sympathize, she probably was excited by the 'crowd' at the store, till ofcourse the golden words struck like a bolt-from-the-blue. 

FIM 02:

Scene: Outside NMIMS library, 10:30 pm

The 'Dainik Jargon' group is ready to leave after a start-to-finish job on the Mkting ppt. Yours truly is ahead of the pack, looking to take a quick exit from the eerie library (Cmon..it was almost empty at tht hour tht day, pitch dark outside).

Enter a familiar looking human-trying-to-look-like-alien fancy dress competition aspirant. What else wud u call a t-shirt covered by an open buttoned full-sleeve shirt covered by an open-buttoned thick filmy leather jacket wid gell-strightened hair. Lets call him GS alien. This alien was not walking, he was storming into the library with a newly copied, irritating swagger (that cud be termed at best as funny depending on ur state of mind). 

After he races by, yours truly looks at the person behind and chuckles. The person behind happens to be Harsha. 

Harsha: (smiles and asks): kya hua?

Yours truly (shocked at how on earth cud sumone not see such a wierdo pass by): Abey dekha nahi...entry kaun mara andar abhi?

Harsha (Another funny face indicating he didnt...I cudnt believe this...which world was he lost in at 10:30 pm to miss it?): Kaun?

Yours Truly: Abey apna Shahrukh...

Still doesnt get the drift...

Yours Truly (Frustrated by now) : (aloud) GS...(followed by another chuckle)

The entire pack now turns towards the main exit door, only to see a stunned stoned bespectacled...(lets call him Center Shock Hair (CSH))

CSH looks wide-eyed at me, but is given a royale ignore as I walked past him (was stumped at such an out-of-the-blue bemused face). He looks at the first person available to entertain him (Roopam it was I think).

CSH (dazed open-mouthed wonder): GS? u'll are talking abt GS?

This was when the Eureka FIM moment struck as I neared the exit door. Everyone burst out mockingly and look to make a quick exit. The laughter is unstoppable.

Impact: 

I still cant figure out the bemused look on CSH. It seemed to me like a truly 'Eureka Eureka' moment. Almost as if 'Finally' someone recognizes the 'different' swagger and unusual outfits. Finally someone calls my dear friend something worthy...'Shahrukh'. Wow, swagger mission accomplished. 

(though I'm glad I dint supplement it with a few more choice adjectives)

FIM 03: 

(Due permissions taken before publishing, toned down drastically in view of the affirmative steps taken by the victim)

Scene: Room No 26

Praneeth (responding to the pile of 'chhaaping' assignments):  I wont mind a girlfriend who is atleast regular wid these assignments, atleast I'll have a ready source and dont have to hunt around like this.

Bhargav (lost in the assignment): Dude, u shd then get the topper in the class.

Impact: 

Praneeth is stunned and moves away from Bhargav. Bhargav has the Rego-600/60 look and doesnt know where to hide his mouth.

Let the series continue...

Pearls Galore - Feb 28

Back to business, following are some of the gospel utterings on Feb 28:

Harsha Gem 10:49 am: 

Ideas are meant to be given, not to be accepted.

Not Anonymous 11:02 am: 

Fan creates further distortion of voice quality (yeah...Lata Mangeshkar with a screechy voice)

YS... first contribution: 01:11 pm

The Great: Should a bank cashier be ethical always?

YS: Yess sir, like that every cashier will be a Croropathi if he does not follow Ethics. (Note: CFA L1 has Ethics paper, for the uninitiated)

Harsha Extempore 2:58 pm:

1) The term IAS conjures up different meanings in different minds

2) I get a very hallowed feeling...(dont know why)

3) India has spawned movies like Rang De Basanti once in a while...

4) Gem: As per the Akshaypatra school of thought, ....

5) Booms and busts come and go...

Vision Statement (No pun..so obviously not intended)

Jai Ho!

As part of my debut post (tried finding an auspicious coconut but cudnt get one on an especially lazy Sunday), I'd like to commend my excitable partners-in-crime (present and wannabes) for their enthusiasm in churning out the now notorious Gems Factory. The sheer quantum of gems discovered in our unsuspecting daily interactions is indeed commendable. This has inspired our first-ever Charter of Goals as under:

1) To unearth hidden jewels flowing out from whichever tap (I mean mouth).

2) To regularly contribute to this pearls database (each pearl is invaluable, it MUST be stamped with its date and time of origin).

3) To consolidate all the pearls of wisdom ORDER BY author,date.  (This annual exercise should happen on the third Sunday of June. Naturally it is outsourced to either Indira-1 or Indira-2 (ideally both). However if any party feels let down and aspires for an exclusive contract, a Sholay coin toss will be used. Decision of the esteemed Committee members in this regard will be final and binding).

As u see this is serious business. Recruitment is very stringent and any wannabe to this group must demonstrate his flair and potential. He/she must also have sufficient knowledge about the group's limited players along with their signature gems. Candidates will be screened by a small objective match-the-following 'aptitude test' followed by a rigorous jargon interview.

If u observe, the slightly demeaning term 'jargon' has been consciously avoided so far. Jargon remains a jargon as long as it is between 'unlike' minds. Aspiring like-minded Gem-hunters must relate and 'unlock the value' to uncover seemingly apparent jargons as hidden gems. However if even after intense scrutiny a saying has no merit, it will be demoted to the tag of jargon and be filed separately. Consolidators kindly note this.

A gem that just struck:

Rahman Oscar Winning Speech: "All my life I had a choice, between love and hate. I chose love and I'm here"

Dainik Jargon Oscar Speech: Replace love and hate with appropriate words.

Now for our new anthem, till we find a worthy alternative. This version is NOT an original but has been 'unlocked' from the internet reservoir. 

"...a verbal sleight of hand that gives an air of novelty and specious profundity to ideas that, if stated directly, would seem superficial, stale, frivolous, or false." - David Lehman

lol...how very true.

Gems of 27 Feb

Note: The following 'gems' were picked up from Indira's comments directly and the author (fearing a backlash) has nothing to do with them apart from the fact that he can testify in favor of the motion.

Gem Of The Day:

"One needs to have a perceptive eye to pick up gems from one s conversations" - Harsha, 1.17pm

Jargon Of The Day:

"Embellishment is half the fun" - Harsha, God-knows-when.

Jargon Psychology

Some people are born geniuses.

They can spout jargons as fluidly as Ms Irani can spout tears in Balaji Soaps. While we mere mortals have to rack our brains, and bloody hardly at that, some people seem to "unlock the value" of jargons very effortlessly. They do not seem to suffer from any kind of "speaker's block" while coming out with their gems.

Time and again, they make their "deliverables" tell. Indeed these "jargonizers" are so brilliant, give them a Big M problem and they'll solve it & cross check it with Simplex before you can say "What Ho !"

Such prodigies have a rare knack for making jargons "cascade and trickle and snowball". To put it simply they "synergize" the situation and the intent effortlessly and win accolades as a result. They are widely accepted as "resource mobilizers" and can "leverage competencies".

Such people occupy the pride of the place positions in the "Jargon Life Cycle".

No wonder such people are cash rich and belive in the "Cash is King" philosophy !

Apna Number kab aayega ?

Random Pearls

• "Creative Bankruptcy" (Award winning) - Sandeep
• 
  
• "Empty Store Syndrome" - Supriya
• 
  
• "Trickling into cascading into snowballing.." - Indira
• 
  
• "Internal Cannibalization" - (Award winning) - Supriya
• 
  
• "Reinforcement Checklist" - Sandeep

Gems of 26 Feb, 2009

• "International vs Multi-national" - Supriya, 10.24 am
• 
  
• "Quality Requires Time" - Sandeep, 11.15 am
• 
  
• "I Hate DELL" - Indira, 11.12 am
• 
  
• "Aspirational value" - Supriya, 3.57 pm
• 
  
• "Situational Innuendo" - Bhargav, 4.05 pm

And the Rolling Trophy goes to...

The glory may be short-lived due to the heavy competition for the most coveted award(s).
But the undisputed Jargon King and Jargon Queen awards (for the period July 2008 - Mar 2009) goes to