Epic Episodes.. Part 1

I was chatting with "Haath-kidhar-hai" Roopam today about Rajiv's comments on a certain Mr.Rane and Harshil's comments on a fellow Div C mate (Let's say AXE has a marble bust of this bloke and he features in their Annual Reports under the credits section for highest individual sales)

I happened to remember some of the funny (at that time not-so-funny) incidents and catastrophes that befell our Group 9 etc members.

Thought I would jot them down and 'capture' (Copyright: Bala) some of them in some tangible format i.e. Dainik Jargon. (Psst: Unknown sources say that our account was inactive since Jesus' second coming)

This post will be the first of many parts...

All members and non-members are free to post any of the memorable incidents that took place in our good ol' college.

Numero Uno:

The epic Bandar Ka Naach




Key Highlights of the Episode:

Harsha at loss for words (for once) and properly traumatized...while Indira sitting 2 seats apart is furiously typing away 1+1 = 2 on her calculator.
Prof Bhat: "Tamasha chal raha hain yahan pe? Bandar ka naach chal raha hai yahan pe?"(followed by his customary 'Haaaaain').

This post is not yet done.. it is just a teaser for what is to come...Kindly input your own experiences and other facts about this episode. (To reiterate: We need to capture it all)

The Murder of Little Bak Bak

- By Agatha Christie (Co-authored by Bhargav)

The pieces of the body were found in a trash can. Well, not exactly 'found' but 'lying'. It was a murder most foul.

The group congregated at one of their favorite locations to discuss the e

vent that had significantly altered the life of one of them. The culprit tried to change the topic, issued veiled threats, pleaded his innocence, all in vain. He was cornered. "The serpent in his garden" had bitten him.

The "Et Tu Brute" look was evident in the face of the culprit. He was pained, not because of his dastardly act but that his friend had spilled the beans.

The images of the murder were vivid in the mind of 'Brutus' as he described the sequence of events that led to the murder. This is what he had to say:-

"The murder was planned well in advance. Caesar had planned on this well before he left his house. He had contingency plans worked out. His modus operandi was simple - ensure that no one was around when he committed the murder. Anyway, the victim was a non-entity to most living beings. He had chosen his accomplice as well. He was sure to escape scot-free. Unfortunately, he did not factor my presence. He trusted me implicitly."

Caesar, as described by Brutus, could not stop harping about his pre-planned murder till the location of the crime.

The crime scene was described as follows:

The accomplice forgot his role just before the murder.

He was not supposed to have blurted it out.

"Paneer?" - He enquired.

Brutus looked on enquiringly.

Caesar gave his accomplice a look that could've melted gold.

"Anda" - he shouted and for good measure said "Double Anda", "Sada".

The accomplice gave an all-knowing smile, and with that Little Bakbak became history.

The thread on Caesar's body turned into ash.

The group then observed a minute's silence for the soul of Late Little Bak Bak.

"Sacrilege on Sravana Sukravaram" was the unanimous decision.

VERDICT. GUILTY.

Coup D'etat

The prattlers have gone into a stupor, courtesy, an energy-sapping, gas-draining event known as examinations.

However, we've had some real imitation jewels from the inimitable 'Bhaaaya'.
Note:
The timestamps have not been recorded as time is considered to be relatively inaccurate and we, the prattlers, pride on being definitive - Refer the 'Guide' for details.

Back to Bhaaaya quotes:

- "Summary is the juice of the chapter"
- "We are running through the ppts at 'Blitzkrieg' pace" (The Fuhrer spun in his grave hearing this).


Having said that, we now have an important announcement to make. A significant event that might just change the course of mankind.
After having followed all procedures in our dictatorial democracy, having over 64% vote share (a clear majority and courtesy all the voters - read as Tools ->Clear Cache->Refresh->Vote), Prrrrrrresssssssetting the new Jargon Queen -
Indiraaaaaaa (WWF announcement style)...

However, unlike JQS, the title 'JQVISD' may not be very user-friendly and hence the title JQS remains. (Imagine the frustration levels of the poor bloke who gets JQVISD as his scrabble tiles. :P. If you are not able to imagine that, Click Here).


Flash News:
Last heard, a certain Supriya, the erstwhile Jargon Queen was dishing out Jargons left, right and center at ColPal after she heard rumours of being dethroned. Latest news was that all employees of ColPal who bore the brunt of her jargons tried to commit suicide by drowning in ColPal toothpaste.
Unfortunately for them, the toothpaste turned out to be so bad (err..that's stating the obvious) that they were unsuccessful in doing so and are now buying ColPal soaps to get rid of the sticky gooey-like toothpaste. There were confirmed reports of a substantial increase in the sale of ColPal soaps and the reason behind this sudden surge was unknown.
The Dainik Jargon team happened to find out that, incidentally, Supriya, an intern at ColPal , was assigned the task of increasing the Sales of ColPal soaps. The prattlers don't believe in coincidences).

In other news, particularly, in the trivia section, incumbent Jargon King Sandeep still rules the roost with an unassailable lead over the rest of the pack. Emergency Pradeep tried very hard, with his quotes during the exams, but ended up with only 5 votes (he has to thank me for that).

So..that's that. Until the next post.
Executive Summary: We've got JKS and the new Jargon Queen. Hallelujah.

Flash News

...after it was called "Pricehousing Water Cooper" by the 'team-lead'.

Jargon (n) - The Concise Oxford Defintion

There has been a lull in blogging (3 whole days!!!).
Attribute this either to
a. The Prattlers running out of content (which is as probable as hair growing on my head or Sandeep eating rice. Note: The former being more probable)
b. Heavy workload (academics) taking a toll on the Dainik Jargon team. (Which is as probable as the probability mentioned in point a)
OR
c. The state of astonishment/shock of finding Pradeep(YS) getting out from his CFA books and blogging!!! (Whoa!!! Pradeep & Blogging - Now this seems to be quite a good reason for the relative inactivity on this blog).

I had to upload this post despite staunch protests from Sandeep (who called this definition sub-standard). I may be ostracized by JKS for this but I had to acknowledge the efforts taken by Akshita and Roopam who, painstakingly, searched for the definition of Jargon in the library.
Now, any person with a teeny weeny bit of common sense would ask, "Why did they have to hunt in the library? Couldn't they Google it out?". The answer isn't, cliched it may sound, rocket science. They visited the library to hunt for an "English Communication books" amidst the Finance and Marketing volumes BECAUSE Akshita had a 'Dell' laptop and internet simply doesn't work on a 'Dell' laptop. (P.S. Roopam had not brought his HP to college).

Now for the definition of Jargon according to this Englisss communication text book:
"Jargon means unintelligible or meaningless talk or writing familiar only to a group or profession. It is full of special words known only to members of the group. When it is used outside the group, it becomes unintelligible." (E.g. for the highlighted statement: The 'traumatised' expression on the face of one of our fellow batchmates (an unfortunate soul who hasn't come into contact with the prattlers), when Harsha said "Arre bhai, did the driver had a 'traumatised' expression on his face?")

The book also goes on to state some of the causes for generation and outburst(s) of jargon (and gems):
a. Information Overload (E.g. "Ma'am..ma'am...Deliverables)
b. Time Pressure (of CFA) (E.g. "Embellishment is half the fun")
c. Communication Climate (E.g. Gtalk status messages like "Smitten by the Refreshingly Spontaneous..."
d. Noise ("Aspirational value")
e. Mechanical (in this case Vocabulary) failure ("Situational Innuendo")

The authors Ramachandra, Chandrashekara, Shivakumara (No..No..It is not a single South Indian Name - they are 3 authors of the same book) have also added a few 'gems' of their own:
"Communication usually fails - except by chance" and
"If a message can be understood in different ways, it will be understood in just the way it does the most harm"

Now we know why people don't read such books.

my first post...

Thanks to bhargav for allowing me to express myself....This is my first post in this blog…for the first time in 8 months I am doing something tat doesn’t relate to cfa or my mba curriculum (which I am forced to…. L )…..i was unable to restrain myself from extolling the trio’s (sandeep…bhargav…harsha’s) prowess over language …..The sheer command these guys possess is laudable… which made me to push my corp fin book aside and jot down some of my thoughts… 

I haven’t read this blog before …though it is a brainchild of my beloved harsha & bhargav. I shd confess tat I really missed some creative stuff …gems just splashed all around the blog …believe me it was hard for me to decipher some lines in the blog…tougher than FSA L (sorry got used to quantify everything in terms of fin) … 

The title of the blog itself is a lexicon tester…was a bouncer…by the way bhargav sir…I would be greatful if u could enlighten me ….wat magniloquos means… Taking forward our prospective jargon queen’s (Indira)…suggestion it would be better to make a note of all jargons on a separate webpage instead of interspersing it in the blog…it would be of great help for common junta like me to pick up some gems while preparing for a gd or pi… J 

Pradeep (fondly called YS)

.. its Raison d'être

Disclaimer: Jargons are an integral part of this blog and shall not be considered as being “bundled” with the usual posts of the blog (courtesy: Product bundling discussion in the mkting class today )

A rather unusual beginning, wot ?

Well .. having lived with the jargonisers for over six months now, I too have picked up a few I guess..

It all started when we discovered JKS(JARGON KING SANDEEP) one fine day of second trim spouting his jargons with such ease and poise that we were left dumbstruck .. rather jargon-struck !

There was no looking back after that … we had jargon after jargon .. day in and day out .. not just from JKS but from others as well ..!

Well it catches up pretty fast .. and once u have an eye (ear rather) for jargons, u actually begin to see(hear) them in ur daily life …

There was “ embellishment is half the fun” ( Harsha- the CSI of d grp) , “situational innuendo” (Bhargav – another king, but of the FiM land – future posts shall tell u more about this land), “empty store syndrome” ( all hail the queen SU ), “CFA is a mind game” (YS – the fin champ in the group) and ofcourse the “reinforcement checklist”(by JKS) and his evergreen “creative bankruptcy” . He plans to write a book eventually – “CREATIVE BANKRUPTCY – BANE OF ORGANISATIONS” and was visibly upset when he was almost dethroned by the new entrants.

The point is … our world revolves around jargons. Every day we think of new ways of jargonizing our otherwise simple world. Every time we think a person has out-jargoned the others, we stand corrected .. coz there would be another gem of a jargon (no pun intended) just around the corner.

This is the whole point.. looking at the rate at which jargons are generated every day, we might lose a few if they r not compiled and stored carefully. This is the reason for coming up with this blog.. its Raison d'être .

We are very happy to see the number of jargonisers growing by leaps and bounds and the new challenges it brings forth to the quality of gems/jargons. We will try our level best to keep up with the speed of jargon generation and try to do justice to them all.

Also, I would like to appeal to the honorable bench to consider constituting "Gem of the day" award to encourage the jargonisers by rewarding the best jargon of the day. Let the contest begin !