Friday, March 20, 2009

Flash News

...after it was called "Pricehousing Water Cooper" by the 'team-lead'.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Jargon (n) - The Concise Oxford Defintion

There has been a lull in blogging (3 whole days!!!).
Attribute this either to
a. The Prattlers running out of content (which is as probable as hair growing on my head or Sandeep eating rice. Note: The former being more probable)
b. Heavy workload (academics) taking a toll on the Dainik Jargon team. (Which is as probable as the probability mentioned in point a)
OR
c. The state of astonishment/shock of finding Pradeep(YS) getting out from his CFA books and blogging!!! (Whoa!!! Pradeep & Blogging - Now this seems to be quite a good reason for the relative inactivity on this blog).

I had to upload this post despite staunch protests from Sandeep (who called this definition sub-standard). I may be ostracized by JKS for this but I had to acknowledge the efforts taken by Akshita and Roopam who, painstakingly, searched for the definition of Jargon in the library.
Now, any person with a teeny weeny bit of common sense would ask, "Why did they have to hunt in the library? Couldn't they Google it out?". The answer isn't, cliched it may sound, rocket science. They visited the library to hunt for an "English Communication books" amidst the Finance and Marketing volumes BECAUSE Akshita had a 'Dell' laptop and internet simply doesn't work on a 'Dell' laptop. (P.S. Roopam had not brought his HP to college).

Now for the definition of Jargon according to this Englisss communication text book:
"Jargon means unintelligible or meaningless talk or writing familiar only to a group or profession. It is full of special words known only to members of the group. When it is used outside the group, it becomes unintelligible." (E.g. for the highlighted statement: The 'traumatised' expression on the face of one of our fellow batchmates (an unfortunate soul who hasn't come into contact with the prattlers), when Harsha said "Arre bhai, did the driver had a 'traumatised' expression on his face?")

The book also goes on to state some of the causes for generation and outburst(s) of jargon (and gems):
a. Information Overload (E.g. "Ma'am..ma'am...Deliverables)
b. Time Pressure (of CFA) (E.g. "Embellishment is half the fun")
c. Communication Climate (E.g. Gtalk status messages like "Smitten by the Refreshingly Spontaneous..."
d. Noise ("Aspirational value")
e. Mechanical (in this case Vocabulary) failure ("Situational Innuendo")

The authors Ramachandra, Chandrashekara, Shivakumara (No..No..It is not a single South Indian Name - they are 3 authors of the same book) have also added a few 'gems' of their own:
"Communication usually fails - except by chance" and
"If a message can be understood in different ways, it will be understood in just the way it does the most harm"

Now we know why people don't read such books.

Saturday, March 7, 2009

my first post...

Thanks to bhargav for allowing me to express myself....This is my first post in this blog…for the first time in 8 months I am doing something tat doesn’t relate to cfa or my mba curriculum (which I am forced to…. L )…..i was unable to restrain myself from extolling the trio’s (sandeep…bhargav…harsha’s) prowess over language …..The sheer command these guys possess is laudable… which made me to push my corp fin book aside and jot down some of my thoughts… 

I haven’t read this blog before …though it is a brainchild of my beloved harsha & bhargav. I shd confess tat I really missed some creative stuff …gems just splashed all around the blog …believe me it was hard for me to decipher some lines in the blog…tougher than FSA L (sorry got used to quantify everything in terms of fin) … 

The title of the blog itself is a lexicon tester…was a bouncer…by the way bhargav sir…I would be greatful if u could enlighten me ….wat magniloquos means… Taking forward our prospective jargon queen’s (Indira)…suggestion it would be better to make a note of all jargons on a separate webpage instead of interspersing it in the blog…it would be of great help for common junta like me to pick up some gems while preparing for a gd or pi… J 

Pradeep (fondly called YS)

Friday, March 6, 2009

.. its Raison d'être

Disclaimer: Jargons are an integral part of this blog and shall not be considered as being “bundled” with the usual posts of the blog (courtesy: Product bundling discussion in the mkting class today )

A rather unusual beginning, wot ?

Well .. having lived with the jargonisers for over six months now, I too have picked up a few I guess..

It all started when we discovered JKS(JARGON KING SANDEEP) one fine day of second trim spouting his jargons with such ease and poise that we were left dumbstruck .. rather jargon-struck !

There was no looking back after that … we had jargon after jargon .. day in and day out .. not just from JKS but from others as well ..!

Well it catches up pretty fast .. and once u have an eye (ear rather) for jargons, u actually begin to see(hear) them in ur daily life …

There was “ embellishment is half the fun” ( Harsha- the CSI of d grp) , “situational innuendo” (Bhargav – another king, but of the FiM land – future posts shall tell u more about this land), “empty store syndrome” ( all hail the queen SU ), “CFA is a mind game” (YS – the fin champ in the group) and ofcourse the “reinforcement checklist”(by JKS) and his evergreen “creative bankruptcy” . He plans to write a book eventually – “CREATIVE BANKRUPTCY – BANE OF ORGANISATIONS” and was visibly upset when he was almost dethroned by the new entrants.

The point is … our world revolves around jargons. Every day we think of new ways of jargonizing our otherwise simple world. Every time we think a person has out-jargoned the others, we stand corrected .. coz there would be another gem of a jargon (no pun intended) just around the corner.

This is the whole point.. looking at the rate at which jargons are generated every day, we might lose a few if they r not compiled and stored carefully. This is the reason for coming up with this blog.. its Raison d'être .

We are very happy to see the number of jargonisers growing by leaps and bounds and the new challenges it brings forth to the quality of gems/jargons. We will try our level best to keep up with the speed of jargon generation and try to do justice to them all.

Also, I would like to appeal to the honorable bench to consider constituting "Gem of the day" award to encourage the jargonisers by rewarding the best jargon of the day. Let the contest begin !

Medal(s) of Honour

Now that we are onto the 6th of March, we need to announce the title holders of Jargon King and Queen of the Month... Being a dictatorial democracy, we have decided to consider the results of the poll (We feign ignorance to any rigging)...

And as per the (rigged) polls we have


Jargon King - Sandeep (Yet again...and almost swept the polls)
Jargon Queen - Supriya (Though there was stiff competition from Indira)

Three Cheers to the winners....

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Pearls Galore - Mar 04


Thanks Bhargav for the prelude to the BREAKING NEWS...without further rambling, we welcome a few more 'hidden talents' to the League.

But madame, u need an agent for transformation right? - YS: 11 am 

GEM: 11:20 am
Harshil (in his inimitable style) : Ma'am but a company should charter your growth trajectory. 
Everyone including ma'am is flabbergasted. Harshil senses the shock he has created all around and gets excited. Looking at the stunned expressions of ma'am, he starts ranting:

Harshil: Ma'am the thing is when u throw a stone in the air, it follows a path. This path is called a trajectory. (uncontrollable laughter at such an innocuous clarification...if u thought this was enuf...read on). 

He gets up, goes to the board and draws a demand-supply like graph (he must hv mistook it to be an Economics class) and starts explaining details of the curve slopes for NMIMS grads career v/s that of others, in his inimitable poker-faced style. 

Sahil, the only one actually listening, raises a doubt that the curve should be exponential, to which an-in-form Harshil retorts:
Harshil: u see a linear growth trajectory is a conservative estimate. 
(Sahil is plain stunned into silence)
Man, Harshil with a marker beside the board!

Guru YS: 2:10 pm (giving gyaan to the keen ears of Harsha, Debu and Roopam) : CFA is nothing but a mind game.

Rajiv: (in the HR role play) 11:40 pm
I wanted to discuss my future positioning in the company (Marketing Gyaan Overdose Syndrome)

Gem: 
Flashing debut, the 'Prince of Kolkata' arrives: 
Adi: We should look at the problem not from the periphery but from the core.  (whoa!)

Impact of all this on ISD: 12:45 pm
ISD: It is raining jargons today. But it is for the jargon king to decide whether it is a gem or a jargon.

Observations:
'Refreshing' to see the blog hit counter rattling along (Assuming, I hope, the prattlers have not inflated the count thru their obsession). This means that a lot of wannabes and curious visitors have chosen to have a dekko. If u feel lost, we are NOT surprised. As a guideline please note the following:

1) The mind boggling blog name is the creative output of Bhargav. So any bouquets, brickbats, votes MUST go to him. 

2) We wud request u to first read our VISION STATEMENT post sumwhr below thoroughly. This will help u appreciate the posts better. You may then proceed to enjoy our Collectors' Edition, a selection of choice gems and unique FIM series, which should refresh your thought process.

3) We take pride in our product quality and are pleased to inform u tht as a differentiator, we are offering a never-before seen performance guarantee plus service commitment.  We assure u that after going thru the blog posts, u will either be more lost than before or feel enlightened, but the time spent here will not cause boredom. Please let us know in case u are dissatified with the quality (no questions asked), we will strive to make the content richer. 
An added attraction is our service commitment, wherein we assure u of medical assistance in the rare event of a migraine cropping up due to exposure to our blog. Our prattlers will be pleased to investigate the extent of damage and serve u within 4 hours.
(Special thanks to Xerox Corp, for voluntarily carrying out this market research for us. This has greatly helped us chart out this unbelievable hybrid guarantee differentiator).

Enjoy!

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

The 4th March Concoction

Today i.e. 4th of March is henceforth going to be celebrated as "Jargon Day"... The plethora of jargon emanating from some of the most unsuspecting souls gave rise to the "Jargon Day" concept..

"When gems and jargon are quoted, the originator does not realize..." - Budday Gal Indira, 4th March, 7.50pm

"CFA is a mind game" - YS, No particular timestamp, Repetitions of the same could be heard at various intervals of time depending on the mental state of the 'originator'

FiM of the Day:

Scene: People are playing picto-dumb C. Su was drawing the product and Indira was acting... Tanya and Ankita were guessing and Ojas was fiddling around with a laptop...
The product was Femina and the the gals were having a tough time trying to guess the tagline.

At that precise moment, Bhargav just looks up and spontaneously says "Femina: Woman of a substance". Silence for 2 seconds before he realizes (and others realize) his mistake. No self-respecting guy would ever, i mean ever, remember such a lousy tagline.
Ergo, he is now called "Mr Femina"!!!!

And now to the jargon of the day... the jargon that almost dethroned the incumbent Jargon King Sandeep... and that came from the most unexpected source...
"Charter of growth trajectory" - The Funniest Guy of our Class, 11.45am, 04-03,2009
And what followed was even more surprising (refreshingly)... The explanation of the word trajectory to the HRM ma'am.

Request Sandeep to upload the rest of the jargon he took down in his notebook during the class...


Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Pearls Galore

It is 'refreshing' to see some gems interspersed between the FiM series (partly because it will give the author breathing space from the barrage of attacks against him)... Today along with the usual gems, I present to you visual proof of jargon usage (award winning one as well)...
But first the regular 'pearls' spotted during the conversation:

"10 months is not more than 12 months" - Indira, 1.10pm, 01-03-2009

"A master can praise the disciple, but the master is a master" - Harsha, 8.51pm, 02-03-2009

"You may be friendly, but you need not be friends", - The Great, 1.24pm, 02-03-2009

And now for the much awaited moment, the visual proof that incriminates the incumbent Jargon King or should I say 'Monarch'?


- Sandeep, 2.16pm, 31-1-2009

Sunday, March 1, 2009

FIM Series 2...

Ah my first post here and obviously i talk about my favourite topic.. Bhargav and his FIMs...

Su is talkin about her latest crush.. a handsome bloke with an even awesome bike... a dual reason for the crush.. till her share of the pie is eyed by bhargav who asks " Can he be my crush too ?"...

still i think this species is evolving.. slowly and gradually... see whenever you asked bhargav about a handsome male of the human species.. this is how Bhargav's responses evolved..

Stage 1 : Oh ya he is cute

Stage 2: Oh the other bloke is better

Stage 3: After Much leg pulling Sanity dawns... i willnot answer this

Stage 4:  finally i cannot answer this...

Stage 5: Opens closes mouth like a fish.. and tries hard to keep quiet... no comments..