Medal(s) of Honour

Now that we are onto the 6th of March, we need to announce the title holders of Jargon King and Queen of the Month... Being a dictatorial democracy, we have decided to consider the results of the poll (We feign ignorance to any rigging)...

And as per the (rigged) polls we have


Jargon King - Sandeep (Yet again...and almost swept the polls)
Jargon Queen - Supriya (Though there was stiff competition from Indira)

Three Cheers to the winners....

Pearls Galore - Mar 04

Thanks Bhargav for the prelude to the BREAKING NEWS...without further rambling, we welcome a few more 'hidden talents' to the League.

But madame, u need an agent for transformation right? - YS: 11 am 

GEM: 11:20 am

Harshil (in his inimitable style) : Ma'am but a company should charter your growth trajectory. 

Everyone including ma'am is flabbergasted. Harshil senses the shock he has created all around and gets excited. Looking at the stunned expressions of ma'am, he starts ranting:

Harshil: Ma'am the thing is when u throw a stone in the air, it follows a path. This path is called a trajectory. (uncontrollable laughter at such an innocuous clarification...if u thought this was enuf...read on). 

He gets up, goes to the board and draws a demand-supply like graph (he must hv mistook it to be an Economics class) and starts explaining details of the curve slopes for NMIMS grads career v/s that of others, in his inimitable poker-faced style. 

Sahil, the only one actually listening, raises a doubt that the curve should be exponential, to which an-in-form Harshil retorts:

Harshil: u see a linear growth trajectory is a conservative estimate. 

(Sahil is plain stunned into silence)

Man, Harshil with a marker beside the board!

Guru YS: 2:10 pm (giving gyaan to the keen ears of Harsha, Debu and Roopam) : CFA is nothing but a mind game.

Rajiv: (in the HR role play) 11:40 pm

I wanted to discuss my future positioning in the company (Marketing Gyaan Overdose Syndrome)

Gem: 

Flashing debut, the 'Prince of Kolkata' arrives: 

Adi: We should look at the problem not from the periphery but from the core.  (whoa!)

Impact of all this on ISD: 12:45 pm

ISD: It is raining jargons today. But it is for the jargon king to decide whether it is a gem or a jargon.

Observations:

'Refreshing' to see the blog hit counter rattling along (Assuming, I hope, the prattlers have not inflated the count thru their obsession). This means that a lot of wannabes and curious visitors have chosen to have a dekko. If u feel lost, we are NOT surprised. As a guideline please note the following:

1) The mind boggling blog name is the creative output of Bhargav. So any bouquets, brickbats, votes MUST go to him. 

2) We wud request u to first read our VISION STATEMENT post sumwhr below thoroughly. This will help u appreciate the posts better. You may then proceed to enjoy our Collectors' Edition, a selection of choice gems and unique FIM series, which should refresh your thought process.

3) We take pride in our product quality and are pleased to inform u tht as a differentiator, we are offering a never-before seen performance guarantee plus service commitment.  We assure u that after going thru the blog posts, u will either be more lost than before or feel enlightened, but the time spent here will not cause boredom. Please let us know in case u are dissatified with the quality (no questions asked), we will strive to make the content richer. 

An added attraction is our service commitment, wherein we assure u of medical assistance in the rare event of a migraine cropping up due to exposure to our blog. Our prattlers will be pleased to investigate the extent of damage and serve u within 4 hours.

(Special thanks to Xerox Corp, for voluntarily carrying out this market research for us. This has greatly helped us chart out this unbelievable hybrid guarantee differentiator).

Enjoy!

The 4th March Concoction

Today i.e. 4th of March is henceforth going to be celebrated as "Jargon Day"... The plethora of jargon emanating from some of the most unsuspecting souls gave rise to the "Jargon Day" concept..

"When gems and jargon are quoted, the originator does not realize..." - Budday Gal Indira, 4th March, 7.50pm

"CFA is a mind game" - YS, No particular timestamp, Repetitions of the same could be heard at various intervals of time depending on the mental state of the 'originator'

FiM of the Day:

Scene: People are playing picto-dumb C. Su was drawing the product and Indira was acting... Tanya and Ankita were guessing and Ojas was fiddling around with a laptop...
The product was Femina and the the gals were having a tough time trying to guess the tagline.

At that precise moment, Bhargav just looks up and spontaneously says "Femina: Woman of a substance". Silence for 2 seconds before he realizes (and others realize) his mistake. No self-respecting guy would ever, i mean ever, remember such a lousy tagline.
Ergo, he is now called "Mr Femina"!!!!

And now to the jargon of the day... the jargon that almost dethroned the incumbent Jargon King Sandeep... and that came from the most unexpected source...
"Charter of growth trajectory" - The Funniest Guy of our Class, 11.45am, 04-03,2009
And what followed was even more surprising (refreshingly)... The explanation of the word trajectory to the HRM ma'am.

Request Sandeep to upload the rest of the jargon he took down in his notebook during the class...

Pearls Galore

It is 'refreshing' to see some gems interspersed between the FiM series (partly because it will give the author breathing space from the barrage of attacks against him)... Today along with the usual gems, I present to you visual proof of jargon usage (award winning one as well)...
But first the regular 'pearls' spotted during the conversation:

"10 months is not more than 12 months" - Indira, 1.10pm, 01-03-2009

"A master can praise the disciple, but the master is a master" - Harsha, 8.51pm, 02-03-2009

"You may be friendly, but you need not be friends", - The Great, 1.24pm, 02-03-2009

And now for the much awaited moment, the visual proof that incriminates the incumbent Jargon King or should I say 'Monarch'?


- Sandeep, 2.16pm, 31-1-2009

FIM Series 2...

Ah my first post here and obviously i talk about my favourite topic.. Bhargav and his FIMs...

Su is talkin about her latest crush.. a handsome bloke with an even awesome bike... a dual reason for the crush.. till her share of the pie is eyed by bhargav who asks " Can he be my crush too ?"...

still i think this species is evolving.. slowly and gradually... see whenever you asked bhargav about a handsome male of the human species.. this is how Bhargav's responses evolved..

Stage 1 : Oh ya he is cute

Stage 2: Oh the other bloke is better

Stage 3: After Much leg pulling Sanity dawns... i willnot answer this

Stage 4:  finally i cannot answer this...

Stage 5: Opens closes mouth like a fish.. and tries hard to keep quiet... no comments..

FIM Series 1

FIM 01:

Scene: NESCAFE Area

The 'Dainik Jargon' group is walking down to their regular cuppa jaunt. Bhargav, Harsha and me grab their regular choco/coffee water only to find Su and ISD staring at a freshly setup outlet 

(u cud smell the paint but not their supposed snacks). An inspired Su takes charge:

Su: Chal Indira I'm having a Jalmudi, what abt u?

ISD: ok...I'll also have the same

Yours truly (astonished and chuckling): Nice...u both are the first customers at this outlet in the last 4 days since its been setup.

A round of sarcastic laughter follows. What also followed was a lady hiding her face and stealthily escaping from right behind us. She happened to be the co-owner of the outlet.

Impact:

The outlet was not to be seen for the next 3 days. It has now been shifted to another closeby location. 

I sympathize, she probably was excited by the 'crowd' at the store, till ofcourse the golden words struck like a bolt-from-the-blue. 

FIM 02:

Scene: Outside NMIMS library, 10:30 pm

The 'Dainik Jargon' group is ready to leave after a start-to-finish job on the Mkting ppt. Yours truly is ahead of the pack, looking to take a quick exit from the eerie library (Cmon..it was almost empty at tht hour tht day, pitch dark outside).

Enter a familiar looking human-trying-to-look-like-alien fancy dress competition aspirant. What else wud u call a t-shirt covered by an open buttoned full-sleeve shirt covered by an open-buttoned thick filmy leather jacket wid gell-strightened hair. Lets call him GS alien. This alien was not walking, he was storming into the library with a newly copied, irritating swagger (that cud be termed at best as funny depending on ur state of mind). 

After he races by, yours truly looks at the person behind and chuckles. The person behind happens to be Harsha. 

Harsha: (smiles and asks): kya hua?

Yours truly (shocked at how on earth cud sumone not see such a wierdo pass by): Abey dekha nahi...entry kaun mara andar abhi?

Harsha (Another funny face indicating he didnt...I cudnt believe this...which world was he lost in at 10:30 pm to miss it?): Kaun?

Yours Truly: Abey apna Shahrukh...

Still doesnt get the drift...

Yours Truly (Frustrated by now) : (aloud) GS...(followed by another chuckle)

The entire pack now turns towards the main exit door, only to see a stunned stoned bespectacled...(lets call him Center Shock Hair (CSH))

CSH looks wide-eyed at me, but is given a royale ignore as I walked past him (was stumped at such an out-of-the-blue bemused face). He looks at the first person available to entertain him (Roopam it was I think).

CSH (dazed open-mouthed wonder): GS? u'll are talking abt GS?

This was when the Eureka FIM moment struck as I neared the exit door. Everyone burst out mockingly and look to make a quick exit. The laughter is unstoppable.

Impact: 

I still cant figure out the bemused look on CSH. It seemed to me like a truly 'Eureka Eureka' moment. Almost as if 'Finally' someone recognizes the 'different' swagger and unusual outfits. Finally someone calls my dear friend something worthy...'Shahrukh'. Wow, swagger mission accomplished. 

(though I'm glad I dint supplement it with a few more choice adjectives)

FIM 03: 

(Due permissions taken before publishing, toned down drastically in view of the affirmative steps taken by the victim)

Scene: Room No 26

Praneeth (responding to the pile of 'chhaaping' assignments):  I wont mind a girlfriend who is atleast regular wid these assignments, atleast I'll have a ready source and dont have to hunt around like this.

Bhargav (lost in the assignment): Dude, u shd then get the topper in the class.

Impact: 

Praneeth is stunned and moves away from Bhargav. Bhargav has the Rego-600/60 look and doesnt know where to hide his mouth.

Let the series continue...

Pearls Galore - Feb 28

Back to business, following are some of the gospel utterings on Feb 28:

Harsha Gem 10:49 am: 

Ideas are meant to be given, not to be accepted.

Not Anonymous 11:02 am: 

Fan creates further distortion of voice quality (yeah...Lata Mangeshkar with a screechy voice)

YS... first contribution: 01:11 pm

The Great: Should a bank cashier be ethical always?

YS: Yess sir, like that every cashier will be a Croropathi if he does not follow Ethics. (Note: CFA L1 has Ethics paper, for the uninitiated)

Harsha Extempore 2:58 pm:

1) The term IAS conjures up different meanings in different minds

2) I get a very hallowed feeling...(dont know why)

3) India has spawned movies like Rang De Basanti once in a while...

4) Gem: As per the Akshaypatra school of thought, ....

5) Booms and busts come and go...